Bong-ed

Trichy was as hot as it can get in the month of June; second only to the May. And thankfully, I wasn’t available at Trichy during May. The first day of counselling was smooth as I was one of the early visitors at NIT, Trichy and I made my choices that very first day. As expected, the campus was barren. I saw absolutely no girls as far as the horizon could curve. One could reach the end of the world, yet not find a single female species. I slowly started to realize the pulse of the sulking engineering life looming ahead. The next day, the results of counselling were announced and I had got into NIT Durgapur for Metallurgical Engineering. Heck! Where was that place now? And Metallurgy? What is that?

With a few like-minded would-be engineers around, I learnt that Durgapur and Metallurgy went hand-in-hand, like cigarette and smoke. I was first taken back by the unusual simile, but later on understood the pun intended. Discussing more on Bengali culture, food and Durgapur as a place; one particular information annulled every other drawback I had been hearing about the college. Bong girls. Their flamboyant attitude, innate beauty and contemporary elegance were nicely backed up with practical examples like the Sen Girls – Sushmita, Reema, Ria, Konkona, et al. I happened to have been inspired by a Tamil chick-flick called JJ, which was about a guy (hero played by R. Madhavan) searching for his love (heroine played by some beautiful female Bong actor) shot in Bengal. The magnificence of Kolkata scenes had enthralled me right then.

Until then I was of the opinion that the train to Kolkata travelled over the Howrah Bridge. On the contrary, I was gladly welcomed by the reality that one can even walk on the same, throw a couple of coins into River Hoogly and can have a look of the new Suspension Bridge across the river. All through my journey from Kolkata to Durgapur, I was intimidated by the Raxaul-bound crowd of Mithila Express. I was an independent bird, with wings of liberty. With a new-found fellow fresher in Sreenu, who was skeptical about ragging in the institute, I finally reached the place which had the scented aroma of iron ore and coal barracks.

I boarded the bus to the college which is known as R.E College in the local slang. I hadn’t sat in a public service bus (although run by private companies) as small as this and found it comparable to a matchbox on wheels. I was also astonished to note that there were no separate seat reservations for female passengers as one can find in TN buses. To my surprise, a beautiful Bong girl in a pink salwar, the most beautiful girl I have ever seen in my life, sat beside me. For a moment, I thought, this could not be true and to trust my fortune, instead of pinching myself, I pinched her by mistake. An angry grin, yes, an angry grin came across and I lauded myself for making Durgapur as the right choice.

If this was the case with luck when one lands for the first time in a city, I congratulated myself on how lucky things can get, thereon. To my utter dismay, which I came to discover much later, neither did I find that girl again in Durgapur, nor did I find that expected quality of beauty in Bong girls, in my four years’ stay sans the 1-2-3 pact that I had with Abi. Not knowing how abysmal my fortune would run, I started the journey in the Prantika-bound matchbox with an exciting career in heart and sleazy dreams in mind.

  

Mario to the Rescue

Mario with the help of his brother Luigi reached Mumbai. He has some work to do now. After travelling all these seven stages he finally landed in Stage Eight. He travelled all these stages because he didn’t use time warp in the worlds 1-2 and 5-2. Such a waste of time and energy he thought to himself. But, his idea was very clear now. All the princesses that he had saved earlier were bogus ones and the real princess was hidden in the castle guarded by the dragons of all the dragons.

Having lots of castles in the Mumbai region, it was a very difficult task for Mario to shortlist the one castle and carry out the rescue operations. He thought of acquiring the CIA’s help in zeroing in on the castle to attack, but, then it struck him that Mumbai is bigger than Abbottabad. Although, India and Pakistan are on par in displaying their negligence on some foreign terror/US Navy Seals attacks, yet Indians atleast have guilt of shame. They have a pseudo-strong media to question them in the form Arnab Goswami, Karan Thappar, Pranab Roy, et al. in comparison to Pakistan. They are there to rip the politicians’ rears. So, Mario was convinced that he can’t take external help, but have to seek the intelligence expertise of Islander and the Contra brothers.

With much planning in the boardrooms of Powai, Mario and his intelligent army trickled their option down to the castle in Bandra. With CCTV’s footages, they learned that the house was guarded by not one, but, three main dragons of 3G nature. One-Two-Three. They were fast, furious and insanely lame. Mario learned more that they were popularly infamous in the country for their recent advertisements in the country. The common people wanted to kill themselves for watching those ads and the menace was increasingly disastrous.

Mario wanted to free the princess not for the fact that he had a liking for her, but, he wanted her to save her from the clutches of the 3G dragons. The 3G dragons moved in the city as a common man or common men in the avatar of the only stupid Bachchan.

Mario set out on his mission. No helicopters, but, he needed only Chilly Mushroom and CauliFLOWER Manchurians to gain height and firepower. He went into the Bandra castle. Minute by minute he was tested by the stupid Bachchan. He eliminated one-two and later NO IDEA how, he eliminated the third. He did a double favor to the people of the country and also to the princess Rai Bachchan by eliminating the 3G Bachchan and the people of the country lived happily ever after.